Thursday, March 27, 2014


     Okay I don't know what is causing this, but my hands are flaring really bad.  I am having a hard time typing.  They just ache.  I am hoping to loosen them up as I have a lot of sewing to do.

     I am frustrated financially with the studio and am considering making parents pay by CC or by taking money directly out of their checking accounts on the first.  Things have not been really bad this year but we have spring break next week and I need to do payroll before all my teachers leave.  So I told my parents to please pay early and I would hold checks until the 1st when tuition was due.  So far 4 have done this.  4 out of 85 parents.  So I am emptying my saving account and credit line to get people paid so they can go on break and pay rent.  I will be able to put it all back when I get back but let me tell you one person pays after the 10th they are getting slammed with a $20.00 late charge. Enough said.

     All three major schools in the area are having prom the same night.  I have taken in18 prom dresses in the last two days.  Next week many will be out on break looking for dresses and I will be gone.  Then on the Monday I return they will all want to come in, I am going to have to set limits.

     I need to pack to night to get ready to be gone for a week. I will leave tomorrow at about 7:30 in the morning.  My mom is so excited.  So am I.  I really need a break.  I have been working way to hard getting ready to go. Just last  minute laundry and bills, and sewing.  But it seems that every time I try to leave town all hell breaks lose.  That is okay because I need the money for gas.

     I have a few piles of sewing and I want to get all my costumes ordered this morning.  I also want to organize my closet with the dresses, so I can be ready to face the monster when I get home.

     I don't have time to add to saga, but will try to at mom's.

Have a great and productive day!


Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Wednesday, Up early, onto Dentist

     I have a dental appointment at 10 so this post will be short.  Tried hard to sew yesterday.  I took in 10 prom dresses yesterday afternoon.  It is hard to sew with constant interruptions.  I have plenty to do when I get home from the dentist.  I need to sit down and pay bills tonight after I get some peace and quiet.  I will stop at the CU and get a cut off statement so I can get that done.  I have to payroll for March with no money so I will be robbing Peter and emptying all accounts to do so, then will have to put it back.

     I need to order costumes for Studio before I leave for Spring break also, then get the parents to pay for them , yuck, yuck.

     It looks like the yard is going to have to wait until we get back to work on it.  I will get nothing done this week.  Sewing is taking all my time.

Have a great and productive day!


Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Tues. Thanks for all the Birthday wishes!

     I am still on a sugar high.  I swear people stuffed cake and candy and ice cream in me yesterday.  I received 3 beautiful bouquets, all yellow they are so pretty.  Hub's and I tried to introduce the chicks to the older chicken and she was very mean so it looks like they will be split.  But I am not angry with her I have been to the point that I realize some mother's need to eat their young.

     I have two nursing student coming here for a few days.  I need to clean up a little around here.  I am so far behind in my shop and I need to get busy and really concentrate on what I need to get done.  No more excuses.  Remind me wasn't I really slow in January?   Not any more.  I had at least 9 prom dress calls yesterday.  It was crazy.

     I hope hub's gets into the yard tonight to clean up the mess I made:)  Yeah like that will happen. There is another whole truck load of yard waste cut and if he would load it I could take it down.

     I have a dentist appointment tomorrow to have my salivary glands looked at. The left one is really painful.  Sore to touch and chew, it did not stop me from eating cakes and crap yesterday.  Hopefully it is a stone and can be removed.

     Saga cont:

     New children were moving into the neighborhood.  Sis and I had about pushed the edge of every parent we could.  Spring days grew warmer and days became longer, we had more time to play outside.  Dad usually came home late after hitting the bar.  Mom would not start dinner until she saw the bloodshot of his eyes.  Dad was a fun happy drunk.  The neighborhood kids would all wait for him to come home and while mom was cooking dinner he would organize games in our large back yard.  Red light green light was a favorite.  We would play and laugh, Dad was a clown.  I remember all the other fathers' and Mothers would come out on their upper decks with martini or on the rocks glasses and watch dad play with us (their kids) the looks were never approving.  What  I did not realize is that Dad was smashed and they knew it, (however they were smashed in a different way). 

     A new family moved down the street named Whipple, they had 11 or 12 kids I think.  They were very different.  There were many older boys in the family and they would come down to join the games.  I just remember how clean cut and polite they were.  They also played the piano like no ones business.  Sometimes they would come into our basement and play songs on the old concert grand, they could play by ear and my mom and dad loved that.  Mr. Whipple came down one evening to check on his boys and of course found my Dad in all his splendor, but he was polite to him.  He treated dad like an equal, not like a drunk.  Soon other games were introduced, softball, kick ball, teams and laughter.  Dad was coming home earlier and earlier from work (the bar) to organize games with Mr. Whipple.  There was never any judgement.  Sis and I had been told by our peers that our dad was a dirty worker.  In other words he worked at the mill and yes they got very dirty.  He was not a professional that went to work in a suit.  He did not hide his faults.  I know that parents tried to discourage their kids from following dad like the pied piper but with Mr. Whipple along they were more lenient.

     The Whipples were Mormons.  It was whispered among the coffee klatch.  Many women got together to have coffee and serve a treat after all the kids went to school.  Even though we were low life, my mom was some what included.  First of all she was educated, was a bang up pastry cook, and was very funny.  She always served coffee when it was her turn up in my grandmother's very clean kitchen.  No one saw the semi-disaster downstairs.  Many of the women were not going to invite Mrs. Whipple because they were prejudice against her strange religion.  But mom did and she served lemonade with her treats so Mrs. Whipple would not feel out of place.  I don't remember much about Mrs. Whipple.  She was a large woman in an apron.  She was soft of speech and slow moving.  The Whipple's daughter Kathy was our age.  I loved her.

     Kathy always wore old fashioned cotton full skirt dresses.  All of her sister's and brothers dressed rather old fashioned and plain.  What I cold not figure out is why no one teased her.  No one ever talked behind her back or made fun of her clothes.  No matter what sis and I wore there was a comment.  We tried so hard to keep up and my mom was a great seamstress, but we were scoffed at every turn.  I remember so plainly getting new Yellow sandals with flowers on the toes in my Easter basket.  They matched my Easter dress.  They were so beautiful and I loved them.  I could not wait to wear them to school.  I had them on with a yellow and green jumper and one of the girls asked me where my mom had purchased them?  I told them Tempo (mom was a part time bookkeeper at Tempo).  Tempo was an early form of Walmart.  Immediately a chorus of High pitched voices started singing, "Tempo, Tempo".  These kids never had to buy anything at Tempo.  They went to Mary Jo Kelly's fathers store.  It was called Ogg's the best shoe store in town and very expensive.

     I was so ashamed.  We were lined up ready to go home and if I could have had the ground swallow me I would have.  I remember leaning against the wall of the classroom and srooging my feet up into those sandals.  I was taunted all the way out of the school and I started to run away.  The kids soon gave up and as I reached the foot bridge over the creek, I took off my beautiful sandals and threw them into the creek.  I vowed never to wear cheap shoes again.  I would some how some way get my mother to buy my shoes at Ogg's.  I never told my mother what happened to those sandals.  I knew I would be in big trouble.


Have a great and productive day,  I have to get busy!


Monday, March 24, 2014

Monday, Happy Birthday to me!

     Well I have hit the good old 56 and I am in the down ward slide into 60.  My that seems old, but I don't feel old.  Happy Birthday Sissie! and remember you are still older than me....

     I had a great weekend.  I worked in the yard, got the deck furniture out, hub's sprayed all the trees, I got the ivy trimmed on the rock wall, we went and bought 5 new chicks and they are so cute!  I had a leghorn, 3 Amaurcanas ? and one Buff something or other.  Sorry to all you chicken experts don't know how to spell the names, but they are cute. We have not introduced them to the other chicken yet as we have to divide the cage.

     Hub's and I took youngest daughters car down to tire shop to get the snow tires removed and the radials put on.  They wanted to charge us $25 a tire to change over the sensors, so we went down the street and had it done for $40.00.  I could see a rip off immediately. Then of course the car was on empty and I just knew she would come home from break absolutely broke so I filled her car.  She has a 10 gallon tank and it took 10.86 to fill it, I swear she drives on magic.  When she got home she still had over $100.00 because she knew she had to gas up her car and get groceries.  I think she might be growing up.

      Hub's and I went to lunch at our favorite pizza place and had a cal zone.  This was free on a gift card.  Then we took a long bike ride on the levy.  I cleaned a little house and started my seed trays.  Beans, squash, eggplant, cucumbers, we will buy everything else except, carrot, radish and beet seeds as I have those.

     On Sunday both the younger daughters and one boyfriend came over and cooked a very nice dinner.  I received 2 movies and a beautiful pop up book of the Wizard of Oz to read to my dance students.  They will love it.  I always read the story while they stretch for a few minutes and I make it last for several weeks.  It is the only time they are quite.  I ate way too much candy last night and there is a huge amount of cake left, but I will take it to the studio tonight and the kids will eat it.

     Today I have a girlfriend taking me out to lunch so that will be fun.  I am starting to get behind in the shop so I really have to set my nose to the grindstone for the next three days.  We are going on spring break next week and I need to get some money put together.  Just enough for gas and a few eats!  We will stay at mom's and daughters.

     But I have to go as car is here to get me.

Have a great and productive day!


Friday, March 21, 2014

Friday, looking forward to the weekend.

     I stayed up late last night working on a wedding dress while I watched Mr. Selfredge on PBS. I like the story but he is a terrible actor and so is his wife.  Can't stand their acting skills.  This morning I need to do a little sewing and straitening and then I am off to do what ever I want.  Like work in the yard.  I have 4 pairs of pants to hem, a bedspread to lengthen, a couple of tops to alter and get this wedding dress ready for a final fitting.  There are other things to do in the shop but I will see how long I want to sew.

     We are getting our chicks this weekend and I am excited.  I hope it works out well.  I also want to go on a long bike ride if the weather is warm enough.  The sun is shining today but it is still quite chilly.  Too chilly for my arthritic hands to handle.

     I do not have to go into the studio today unless I want to and that is so nice.  It is hard to get a day off.  So I really appreciate it when I do.  Who doesn't want a long stretch of time to just do whatever makes them happy.  I hate stopping a project I am working on in the middle.  I am so grateful that I work at things I love.

saga cont:

     Beasty as we would grow to call him was the center of our home.  Every one enjoyed him.  We continued to live with our Grandmother in this beautiful duplex and summer became fall.  Sis would start school with me at the Rattle Snake.  Her school only went to 3rd grade.  So now this wonderful domain I had created would include my sister.  I was thrilled.  I really loved my teacher and I had great friends.  Sis, did not fair so well with her teacher.  I was not sure what the problems were over there, but it was constant tears and fights.  I was not there to witness and I really don't remember anything about that teacher at all.

     4th grade introduced long division.  I came home so confused.  We were supposed to guess a number that could go into another number.  Guess!  So if your were given 234 to divide by 6 just guess a number!  My mom was so frustrated and sat down with me in her teacher fashion and showed me how to figure.  It just made so much more sense.  Both Mom and Dad were math wizs, thank goodness.   I was in love with a boy in my class and quite a flirt.  This was the first year that mom was not room mother for my class.  She had a new baby and little sis and my twin and now our younger brother was in school.  We had to take turns.  Mom always was such a good room mom she went over the top on parties.  Most room mom's served donuts and cider for Halloween.  My mom came in with caramel apples and treat bags and games.  I remember being very put out at the room mom  who came into our classroom in 3rd grad with stale donuts and cider and I voiced my opinion rather loudly so she could hear.  This was very rude, but indicative of the the kind of behavior sis and I were capable of, we were just spoiled brats.  I remember the mother's eyes following me around the classroom as I sneered at her when ever I got a chance.

     I think my teacher that year was trying to get pregnant because she was very interested in my new baby brother.  She always asked about him.  I would shrug my shoulders, he was nice but not that nice.  We had a talent show that fall and sis and I performed an acrobatic routine.  We were very tiny and flexible.  Our teacher was an old vaudeville dancer and knew many Chinese acrobatic tricks.  We excelled at these.  People were amazed by our ability.  This brought us attention which we of course craved.  Sis and I were talented.  I have to say this, we were smart and talented.  Almost anything we did we did well.  This was not our fault, we were born this way.  What was our fault and perhaps the fault of our parents was our attitude toward these talents.   We just assumed everyone was this way.  We were not humble.

     I remember leaving for Christmas break and our teacher saying to us, "See you next year."  I was so upset that we would have a new teacher, until she made us realize that we were going into the New Year on our vacation.  Christmas break was fun.  Full of sledding, ice skating and play.  Of course Christmas would be celebrated at our house(which I hated).  It was grandma's house so of course it was celebrated there.  The adult Aunts drew names and then bought for the kids whose names were drawn.  If you had 5 kids you drew 5 names.  No one  wanted to get Aunt Marie as she was known to be cheap.  Well she was.  Every one wanted to get Aunt Nancy who was generous.  I swear every year I had Aunt Marie draw my name and Sis had Aunt Nancy.  I would get my stupid baton, or cross necklace and sis would have some fantastic toy which she would lord over me.
        Christmas eve was torture at our house.  First of all I would be in  a bad mood because I would know ahead of time Aunt Marie had my name.  We would have to clean house.  I mean really clean which meant fighting, yelling, screaming, beatings and so forth.  Finally mom would lay out new Christmas eve clothes.  That year it was white knee highs, navy wool skirts, red short sleeve sweaters, little sis had gold.  New black Mary Jane shoes.  The boys had little suits.  We were all sat on the hearth of the fireplace on order and our picture taken. Oh and I forgot to mention that we had to wear our hair in sponge rollers all day while cleaning, another charming experience.  I always look now at how puffy my eyes were under my (birth control, hub's name for them) glasses.  Oh the happy memories.

   We all trooped upstairs to Grandmas as all the Uncles and Aunts and cousins arrived.  Our cousins never had to clean up or put on dress clothes.  They had dirty hair, usually cut in pixie cuts because it was easier, and beat up shoes.  We had dinner and usually a few slaps from Uncles who needed to get there vengeance out on our mouths and outfits.  After all we were still living with grandma.  There was a lot of drinking, laughing and then sis and I would have to sing.   We did have truly angelic voices.  But this caused untold jealousy from our Uncles and cousins.  Grandma and mom were so proud.  Sis and I hated being paraded around like performing monkeys, because it just caused strife for us later. Finally we would open our exchange gift and we were expected to look grateful.  This was very hard.   When the drinking had gotten out of hand the family would go home , we would troop downstairs and open our new Christmas jammies, pose for one more picture in front of the hearth and go to bed. Christmas day was better.  Mom did not allow drinking in her house.  The Uncles were too hung over to appear and dad was as much of a kid as we were.  He played our games, built stuff with tinker toys, and took us out sledding.  No extended family just us.  Those were the good times.

     Our friends changed that year.  All of us were becoming more independent.  Most of our peers started skiing.  They got ski gear for Christmas while we still got toys.  It was just a different level of stuff.  If you want to call it stuff.  We had dance lessons and piano lessons, camp fire, and stuff.  Never quality but quantity.  Sis and I knew something was different but we didn't know what.  It was so confusing to see that we were different, we just did not know how to fix this and it was painful.

to be cont:

     Well I am off to the sewing machine with a smile on my face.

Have a great and productive day!


Thursday, March 20, 2014

Thursday, posting late...

  I am posting late in the day,  when I woke this morning, I looked around my house and it was a wreck.  I was disgusted with myself as my daughter and a friend and myself worked so hard last Thursday to clean it really well and ship shape and then with the show and my exhaustion, I have just let it slide. I know I needed a few days to recoup, but being a sloven pig is not necessary.  So I took a couple of hours and cleaned the upstairs, ground some wheat and made 4 loaves of bread, caught up the laundry, did the roots of my hair, trimmed my nails, had a long talk with my Sissie and I feel so much better.  The beds are made, kitchen is cleaned, it just looks nice.

     It was really physically hard work emptying that truck yesterday.  We had packed down the weeds and I had a hard time getting them out.  So no yard work yesterday.  But I did get a lot of sewing done.  I will hit the machines after this post.  I only teach until 5:30 tonight so I will work in the yard with hubs later.  It is sunny but very chilly, at least for me.

     I changed my bread recipe.  My girlfriend gave me a 30 lb bucket of rye flour.  She is allergic to it and and I need to use it up.  So I put 2.5 cups of rye flour in my WW bread and it is delicious. Right now I am eating an end slice of warm bread with Amish butter.  Read and weep.  It is a tough life. Crunchy, crusty slice, of goodness.

     Took Hub's to Wal mart last night as we were out of things.  I could not believe the price of fresh fruit, even at Wal-mart where I am really careful what I buy as it goes bad so quickly.  I won't buy meat there and even their meat prices were outrageous.  It is scary, no matter how much I try to cut back things get more and more expensive.

     Out My Window:  Sunny cool, but I will take sunny any day!  My chicken is about to become a mom  we are getting babies this weekend, I can't wait.  I hope she doesn't kill them.

saga cont:

     Sis and I loved camp.  I think most kids experience home sickness, but we did not.  I loved the singing time and the schedule.  We stayed in cabins named after birds.  There were 8 girls to a cabin with a counselor.  The cabins were white pine logs with screens for windows.  It was very cold in the mornings and getting out of bed to get to the John was miserable.  We had short sleeve white blouses and navy shorts, with red bandannas.  Flag raising was so cold.  Sis and I were always very small and thin and cold affected us worse than others.  But I was so happy to wake up to a bugle playing Reveille', my nose would be so cold and you could smell the trees.  We would jump out of our bags and into our clothes to dash to the johnny.  Sis and I would braid each others long hair and we would run to line up for flag before breakfast.

     Meals were served in a large pine hall.  Table after table of girls all arranged according to age.  I remember the food being very good or at least I had no complaints. We had swimming lessons and they were taught by certified life guards.  We learned to swim well at camp.  The water was cold, but you had to brave it to get in, I never wanted to look like a whiner, but I am sure I was.  Awards were given at the end of camp to move up in swimming ranks.  You always wanted to move up, so we practiced very hard during our free swim time. We had archery, wild crafting, hikes.  We sang all the time.  Sis and I loved to sing.  Singing was part of meals (grace) beginning of the day, through out the day while we hiked, and in the evenings. 

     Every evening we met in a log benched amp theater with a stage and watched the older campers put on skits and we sang songs for about an hour.  The sun would be going down and it would get cooler.  The bugler would play a song.  Day is done, Gone the sun, from the lake, from the hills, from the trees, All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.  Taps was so beautiful as it rang out over the lake and we all sat quietly listening.  Then off to bed, where we would giggle and try to stay awake, but soon the bugle would be playing again in the morning.  They kept us busy and tired.

     Sis and I were always together at camp, in the same cabin.  You could request a cabin with friends in your troop.  Every year we requested and every year we were not with our friends.  They were always together and we would be in the next cabin over.  It took me several years to realize that they did not want to be with us and asked that we not be with them. There was always an excuse and I (or we ) believed them.  I think things would have been easier for sis and I if people were just honest so we could change our behavior, but such it life.
     That first year home from camp I expected our Mother to come get us and as we were waiting for parents, the Barth's came up and said they were taking us home.  I was surprised and thrilled.  Margaret Barth was a favorite of ours.  She came from a large Catholic family and she was so funny and nice.  Sis and I worshiped her.  We rode home in the back seat of the Barth station wagon.  Mr Barth was a professor at the University, he was taciturn and snobbish.  I loved Mrs. Barth, she was funny and flighty and had way too many boys, who drove her crazy!  She was always nervous and yelling, she reminded me of a chihuahua.  I liked her.  We were excited to see our new brother.  Actually Margaret was excited, they had many of babies in their house and another mouth was not a burden.  Her excitement got me excited.  When we pulled up in front of the house we rushed out and into the front door of the upstairs.  We lived downstairs but mom was up in Grandmas front room.  I remember pausing because here was my mom that I had last seen was  very pregnant.  This mom was skinny as a rail.  Margaret found our brother laying in a blue bundle on grandma's settee'.  He was so tiny, I could have covered him up with a pillow.  Margaret was so excited because she saw him first.  Her parents came into the house to see the baby.  The Barth's had never been in our house.  Mr. Barth was smiling, he was happy we had another boy.

     I remember loving my brother the first time I saw him and we were inseparable for the next 18 years.  He was my own special joy.  Such a good baby, he brought so much happiness into our family and our extended family.  We hadn't had a baby for a few years and babies bring an equality to the world.  But trouble was brewing in our house.  We had been with grandma now almost 2 years and mom and dad were supposed to be getting on their feet.  Of course sis and I did not know this or understand this, the family did and the neighbors certainly did it was one more nail in the coffin.

to be cont:

     Well I need to get going or I will get nothing done today in the shop.

Have a great and productive day!


Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Wednesday, going to the dump!

     I am going to the dump this morning as I have already filled the pickup with yard waste and trimmings.  The front yard is not even done yet!  I spent about 3 hours out in the yard yesterday and will try to spend a few more today.  I need to trim the entire ivy hedge out in the back yard, at least 100 feet.  It is taking over the yard. Hubs will be so happy.

     A check came from our medical account so I can pay all the medical bills from Hubs two minor surgeries.  I have to wait until next week for hub's second check to finish paying bills.  In a quandary over CC debt as it takes so long to pay and I am tired of the interest on the one card.  I am trying to figure out what to do right now, but it may be I do nothing.  I want to rearrange things to lower the interest.

     I am very sleepy, as I got up earlier today, but I will take a nap later if I need to.  I have plenty of sewing to do and I need to add to my going to mom's fund.

     So today I will trim all the ivy and get that cleaned up, I also want to clean out all the flower boxes and get them filled with new dirt.  Then tomorrow if the weather allows I will work on the pond area.  There is a couple of weeks of work out there easy before we start planting.

     I need to bake bread, but hubby has to get wheat for me out of the garage. I cannot open the buckets, I will get him to do that tonight.

     Mom must have been really tired that summer because Sis and I would wake up really early get dressed, eat breakfast, and then go over to Burgers.  Mrs. Burger would make us wait in the garage until her kids were up and had eaten breakfast. Now what mother would let her kids leave at the crack of dawn and stay at someones house all day?  Mrs. Burger knew Mom was big pregnant and she was just the most patient, kind person.

     Every summer we took our family vacation back tot he Dakotas to see Dad's folks.  This involved getting 6 people ready and packed into a station wagon.  Of course Dad was no help.  Mom usually sewed us 3 or four matching short outfits for summer.  We always matched.  I hated that.  Off we went early in the morning of July 1st.  Of course we would have to have a flat tire around Helena Montana junction.  Dad would cuss and swear.  The spare would be flat, he would have no jack or tire iron.  Why would you check for those things, when you were taking 4 kids and a very pregnant wife 1700 miles?  We lived on the edge.  This always meant a hike (by dad) to a reluctant farmers house.  The farmer would follow dad and see the pathetic set up of kids and our poor Mother swelling before his eyes.  Farmers, and we saw many of them as kids tended to shake there head at Dad.  Soon we would be on our way, only to run out of gas sometime in the afternoon because Dad forgot to fill up.  We also did not carry a gas can.  Where was Mom in all of this?

     Dad's family drank just as much as mom's family.  There was always so much tension and fighting.  Dad's younger brother was especially awful when he was young.  We loved our cousin's and had such a good time with them.  Lots of laughs.  We kids did not like the food arrangements in the Dakotas.  There was never enough food.  Dad and mom would come stocked with groceries and these were scurried away and we were rationed what ever my Aunt decided to cook.  My brothers and sisters and I were used to eating whatever and whenever.  We were all very small and not big eaters, but we nibbled constantly.  I always felt like I was being starved to death.  Meal times were a nightmare, fighting, clawing and not enough food to go around.  My mother insisted that we be polite and dad would whisper," family get away", and we would all pile into the car after a meal and go to an A&W to get a burger.  Then he would wink at us and say, " Don't tell your Aunt."

     Uncle had a very bad temper and he swore constantly.  He especially liked the Lord's name.  This was so foreign to me.  My dad could swear, but he was selective and most of it was under his breath.  Uncle could use Jesus, as all 5 parts of speech in a sentence.  I always give credit for my very religious nature to my Uncle.  One night we were sent to bed , in an unfinished basement which scared the crap out of me.  My older cousins had been talking about hearses and singing the song,"Don't you ever laugh as a hearse goes by".  Uncle was mad about something and was pounding a screaming upstairs.  I heard him yell GOD, GOD, GOD....... over and over again.  I counted 16 times.  I knew we were going to die because he was so wicked.  I remember praying with all my heart that Heavenly Father would help me sleep.  It was still light outside and you could see the sun going down through the small basement widows.  I shut my eyes tight and the next thing I knew it was morning.  I had made it through that terrible night.  I was so grateful and never missed saying my prayers again.

     Dad's younger brother came in that morning very drunk.  He had been partying all night.  Mom and Dad were on a double roll away bed in the front room.  I remember Mom's big stomach sticking up under the sheets.  Uncle came in and started jumping on the bed.  He had one foot on either side of my mom and was jumping up and down.  Mom was screaming ,"The baby, the baby".  He would not stop and was laughing as Dad and Uncle tried to get him down, finally the roll away broke and my mom went down in the middle like a sandwich.  It was just awful.   We packed up and came home early that year.  Mom's feet were swelling so terrible.  We made it back to the middle of the State of North Dakota, and Dad took Mom into Turtle Lake to the Hospital.. I remember the women relatives clucking and fussing over Mom.  Finally Mom was given some water pills and we were on our way home.  She could not buckle her white sandals and the straps flopped behind her as she shuffled.

     Sis and I needed to get ready for camp.  We had a big long list of things to pack.  Mom kept putting it off, I am sure because she did not have the money.  Finally the day before we were to leave for camp, we got up and no Mom.  There was Grandma scrubbing the carpet beside mom's bed.  We had a new baby brother.  Grandma got us ready for camp and it was much better than mom.  She took the list and just went to town to fill it, no arguing or looking for what was cheaper or asking us to share an item.  We were packed without much fuss, yelling or guilt and the neighbors down the street took us on the 2.5 hour ride to Camp Wantanope for two weeks.  This was unusual.  We never caught a ride with people in the Rattle Snake any where.  My Mom's car was like a school bus she was always taking neighborhood kids to the pool, library, skiing, skating, you name it, but that privilege was never reciprocated. Having a baby early in that Catholic Community brought out some good in people.  A new baby was always a sign from God to be decent for a day or two.

 to be continued:

     Well I need to run to the dump to empty the truck and then get more yard work done, do a little sewing, pull some music and teach.  So I am off....

Have a great and productive day!


Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Tuesday,Sun is shining, yard is calling.

     I did actually work in the yard for two hours last night.  I just bundled up warm.  Tore into the front flower bed that has not had attention for a few years.  The ivy had taken over the lilies and tulip, and irises.  Hubs and I are going to take out a good section of low growing shrubs that are over grown and ugly.  I will replace with perennials.  Plans within plans:)

     It is too cold right now to get out so I will sew for a while and get things done in the shop and then go out later when it is warmer.  Hubs cleaned the chicken coop last night.  We will get new chicks this weekend.  I am excited. 

     I need to pay a few bills today and start ordering costumes for wizard of Oz.  Don't want to but have to.... just don't want to think about it.  I want to play outside and be irresponsible.

Well as I promised my story continues.  Go back to December 17th 2013 to pick up where I start.

     I was starting to really assert my independence from my twin sister.  She had a school life and friends and so did I.  Still I was shyer than her and probably a little less mouthy.  It was reported at school that I was a twin but since no one ever saw her nothing was made of it.  I really loved to read and do craft projects.  I was in a different Camp Fire Girl troop than my sister.  She complained constantly about hers, but I loved my leader.  She spent so much time with us out doors.  We hiked all around and floated walnut boats on creeks.  I am sure my love for the outdoors came from that Camp Fire Experience.  I was a good student and liked being the best.  I remember struggling to beat another girl to get straight A's.  I wanted my monkey to make it first around the room in the library.  I had to beat another little boy and we were tooth and neck.  But I won in the end, by reading Toby Tyler.  I am not sure where the competitive spirit came from.  Maybe having Sis win or lead all the time.  It was the first time I could really push myself with out pushing against her.

     Springtime in the Rockies is glorious. The sun shines and, bluer skies do not exist.  Yellow buttercups and blues bells, Indian paint brush cover the low lying fields.  There is a smell of fresh dirt and growth.  Everything sparkles, even the trees.  The water roars down rattlesnake creek and walking the footbridge to school is a deafening experience.  You had to be well beyond the bridge to be heard.  We played all the way to school and sang the song "Build me Up Buttercup" as we picked buttercups. We were allowed to play in the woods close by during recess.  Can you imagine that today?

     Mom had a secret. she was expecting again.  Sis and I were furious.  One more child meant even less to go around.  We were living with Grandma as it was and this was something that was looked down upon by neighbors, and family.  Grandma did not seem to mind but everyone else did.  Now mom was pregnant it meant we would be poor.  When school got out we spent the majority of our time at a neighbors.  It was a large Catholic family with lots of kids.  Mrs Burger was truly a Saint.  We adored her.  Sis and I were still awfully mouthy and hard to tolerate, but Mrs. Burger never made me feel bad or hurt my feelings.  The problem with undisciplined kids is that we really don't know what we are doing is wrong.  Our feelings were  deeply and easily hurt but we had no idea why these adults shunned and corrected us harshly.  To sis and I it was an enigma.  We played where we were welcome.  We were welcome at the Burgers.

     It was our first year to go to Camp Fire Camp.  We sold cards door to door to pay for this privilege.  No other kids did this and I am sure it was talked about furiously between the neighbors.  Dad drank, mom was pregnant again and we were door to door salesmen.  We did not belong in the Rattle Snake.

to be cont:

Well I must get dressed and greet my public, but later today I am going today I am getting dirty.  ( mean I am going out to weed:)

Have a great and productive day!


Monday, March 17, 2014

Monday, Happy St. Paddy's Day!

     On St. Paddy's Say everyone is Irish!  The show is over and it was wonderful.  The kids were so good.  I though the musicians a little weak and I will be more on top of that next year, but all in all fabulous.  I am so tired I could cry and I need a few days to recoup.  Right now the shop is full of costumes to return.  I have to go down to the studio to tape the floor, but I cancelled my classes for tonight.  I gave my dancers St. Paddy's day off.  They worked so hard over the weekend.

     I had a wonderful time with mom and my girl friends and so many good laughs.  So grateful they were able to bring her.  Hubs and I will be going to mom's during spring break to clean out the flower beds and get the yard ready.  We will then drive on to our daughters and then to his folks.  Make a loop so to speak.  It will be nice to get away!  Now I will need money to do this so I have to get busy, but not today, maybe tomorrow.

     I noticed that I am way down on meat.  I have not bought meat since the second week in January and I have very little left.  I need to do an inventory of the freezers and do a stock up.  So I will need to watch the sales. 

     It was 59 yesterday and so beautiful.  Of course today it is 45  the wind in blowing and it looks like rain.  I plan to start getting out in the yard this week.  I want to go out for at least 2 hours every morning and get the beds and the pond cleaned out.  So looking forward to getting my hands in the dirt.  There is something rejuvenating about the soil and planting.
     After I get done with this post I am going to take all the costume pieces to the truck.  I need to continue doing laundry and then inventory the shop.  I know I have a dress that needs to go out today and a few other things.  Anyway it is a full on mess, so I really need to figure out what is going on before I get myself in trouble. I am good at getting in trouble.

     I feel a nap coming on.....

Have a great and productive day!


Friday, March 14, 2014

Friday, waiting for my bath to run...

     So while waiting for my bath to run, I thought I would write a quick run down of yesterday.  D#2 and I cleaned and a girl friend stopped by to help with costumes and cleaned and we were able to get most things done.  There is a little left to do, but I can get those things done in a few minutes.

    Our music is almost done and the program is somewhat put together, so we will need to tape the floor and off we go.  Mom called and they were just leaving town.  I would like to get the deck put together but it is raining.  So I will wait for a break if we get one!

     I am going to take a bath and get cleaned up.  Sluggy is not the only one who needs to meet her public!

Have a great and productive day, I know I will.


Thursday, March 13, 2014

Thursday, let's complicate things....

     So I finished all but one costume, I am caught up enough in the shop to get through the weekend.   Finished polishing three big routines last night.  Mom calls and she and two of my girlfriends from the old neighborhood are coming in tomorrow for the show.  Great, love to have you, but my house is a wreck.  The carpet (we have only 2 rooms with carpet) smells bad.  The sheets are dirty.  I have not set out ant traps and it is ant season.  The deck furniture is not out I have a show to put on in less than 24 hours.

      I called the carpet cleaners this morning and they were here by 8:30.  Pianist called and confirmed, finally.  I was worried that I would have to play.  Not that I can't, but I hate playing when I am directing.  Lead piper called and is sending over all info for program.  Fire department will come to move floor tonight. I have one more class to teach and polish. Program to put together.  Music is cut for large numbers and we need to put master CD together.  I was expecting all of this, I was not expecting to have to deep clean the house.

     So glad I started  earlier this week to clean the spare room and bath.  Daughter #2 is home with a flu bug.  She is feeling better so she will help me tackle the worst part.  Forgot to tell you that my shoulder froze (the right one) about 4:30 this morning.  So my right arm is pretty much useless.  I hope I can work out some of the stiffness.

     Okay I am going to quit complaining now.  It is almost show time and I am going to be positive.  Positive energy flowing, cleaning the house, changing the sheets, massaging my arm, say a prayer for me...


Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Wednesday, sun is still shining!

     Yes two days in a row, I can hardly believe it, the sun is still shining.  Hub's actually pruned all the fruit trees last weekend, and last night he was out pulling all the wild blackberry that takes over.  I guess day light savings does have its advantages as he goes out in the yard when he has light after the evening news.  I will be thrilled to tackle that yard with no blackberry in it.

     I got most of the list done yesterday even a nap:)  But not much sewing so today I must be good and get really busy.  I also will fix about 6 dance costumes and call that done.  Then attack the zipper pile.  I have at least 6 zippers to fix today.

     I forgot to say that I had paid most of the months bills, and I will pay the house payment tomorrow.  Then will have to wait for Hubs last check of the month on the 27th to pay the last.  Things are just coming in so much better this month.  I need to replace my savings I used last month.  I think I will be able to do this by the 31st.

     It is so hard not to run outside and start rolling in the dirt, but I will not do it I swear.  If I have any extra time today I will finish cleaning the upstairs.

     D#3 called this morning and she was so happy as she aced her physics midterm, now on to organic chemistry. She has spring break next week and is coming down Friday to help with the show.  Well she also needs money for spring break so she will work the show.  She is going to the Oregon coast with her boyfriend and his folks.  They are very nice people and all on the up and up.  The mom even called me.  I realize she is an adult, but when I pay the bills she lives my rules.  I am such a mean old mom.
     I just keep telling myself that in 5 more days the show will be over and I can relax for about 5 seconds.  I am living for those 5 seconds!

Out My Window:  One of my little 5 years old dancers told me she played with worms at recess and then wiped her hands on the grass.  Would I like one of her tic-tacs?  Which she took out of the container and proudly displayed in her grubby little sweaty fist.  Who can turn down a tic-tac laden with worm residue, grass, dirt and sweat?  Not me.

Have a great and productive day!


Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Tuesday, The sun is shining!

     Yes, believe it or not the sun is shining!  Not that I am going to be enjoying it as I am locked in my dungeon of a shop, but I now it is there.  I actually saw some crocuses in the neighbors yard that are coming up.  I am living for next week and if it is nice I will spend an hour or two in my yard every morning getting ready for spring!

      I had a cleaning check come in and I usually use this to pay a monthly bill, but I had already paid the bill so I can add that to my house money.  With what I took in yesterday that brings my house money total to $449.00.  I will make it and then some.  See what a difference a day can make.

     I think I have all my costumes figured out.  I have costume pieces all over the shop. My goal is to have them completed by Wednesday.  I need to call the pianist today. Every trash can in my home is full and I need to really run through the upstairs if I get a chance.  At least do a garbage run.  We have been eating on leftovers so I should find some kind of meat to throw in the crock pot.  I will have to go forage.

     Hub's bought me new hand trimmers and garden gloves on Saturday and they are on the counter upstairs.  I want to go out to the garden so bad, thank goodness my hands are too stiff and sore this morning. I now think after this post I will hit the kitchen before the shop and just soak my hands in some hot dish water.  

     I have plenty to do in the shop this morning, and I have had phone call after phone call for prom dress alterations, so the busy season is upon me.  May it last forever! Okay I feel a list coming on, sorry fellow bloggers, sometimes I cannot resist the list....  ( resist the list, that could be a slogan)

1. clean kitchen
2. start dinner
3. empty all upstairs trash
4. make bed
5. sweep floors (spot not the whole shebang) (did bedrooms and bath and hall save rest for tomorrow)
6. fill out a deposit
7. start a March budget, (yes I realize it is the 11th)
8. Get to work in the shop
9. Finish laundry (one load is in dryer and one in washer and one more to go) 
10.  Come back and report what I have done!
11. take a nap before I leave for studio.

Out My Window:  I was observing the larch trees in the backyard on Sunday.  I think is a week they will be a light yellow and then in another week out to a soft green.  So pretty.

Have a great and productive day!


Monday, March 10, 2014

Monday, hell week!

     I am not good at adjusting to daylight savings time.  I came home from church yesterday and made mashed potatoes and gravy, I sliced the meatloaf I had made Friday and set it in the gravy pan to heat up along with some peas.  Hubs and I ate and it was delicious.  Then we both took a nap.  I went down to the basement bedroom as it has a TV with a DVD.  I started a movie and then turned it off and went to sleep.  The next thing I new hub's is looking for me.  He was home from string practice and I was still asleep.  I had slept 5 hours.  I should have just slept the rest of the night.  But I got up and was up until 2:30 then finally went to sleep and woke at 11:00.  I had already had 9 phone calls, and I did not hear any of them.  This can not go on, it is ridiculous.  So tomorrow I will have a an alarm clock set to get me up.  Now I just can't ignore it;)  I was not feeling well Saturday, feverish and flaring so maybe I just needed 13 hours of sleep.

     I have so much sewing to do and music to cut and  a dance to finish tonight.  It can be done.  Just all the little details of show week.  Ugh!  I need to do a deposit today and get a couple of bills paid.  Also need to think about the house payment.  I only have about 150.00 saved toward it and I need to pay it by Friday, so I had better get creative, fast.  Still haven't written out a March budget and it is a 1/3 over?  I don't get it.  February took 7 years to complete and March is 1/3 over in 3 seconds?  Splain this to me Lucy......

     I had better run, I have so much to do.

Have a great and productive day!


Saturday, March 8, 2014

Saturday, flaring, dang....

        Woke up last night about 4:30 with my hands flaring terribly.  Now what is that all about?  I have been really sewing a lot the last two days, but really? Hopefully this will go away.

     I made 4 loaves of bread yesterday and added oatmeal, sliced almonds, poppy seeds, toasted sesame seeds, and some other seeds I had, can't remember.  I really liked the crunch it added to the bread. Also made a nice big meatloaf that will last a few days.

     Shop was extra busy, I felt like I was getting to the bottom of things only to have more added.  I will not complain as I need the work.  Actually I needs the money:)

     Have had several requests to start writing about my life again and will start Twin posts after the Celtic Show.  My problem is when I start writing I don't want to stop and I don't have  that much time to devote to it right now.  I feel like blogging is so narcissistic, who wants to read more of that?  I find others lives fascinating and mine mundane.  Could it be others feel the same way?  Well I guess so, but still my thought is get a life.....  I will quote the old  (okay young and beautiful) Sluggster, "Don't Read this it's Boring".  Can't skip that blog find her life fascinating.

     It is Saturday and next weekend will be hell, so I need to get something done today.  I have no plan.  I do have to attend a Wedding reception late this afternoon and I will be going to the closing performance of Oklahoma this evening, but what to do with the rest of the day?  Cleaning house could be an option, although a boring one, no matter how many dust bunnies I can see!

     I really do need to clean out the fridge and I do need to go to the grocery store and also make a deposit, perhaps pay a few bills, while I am at the bank.  Hmmm... the choices...

Out My Window:  Cool and overcast, where is the sun?  If this was a sunny day I would be out rolling in the grass or cleaning a flower bed, or drooling over plants at home depot. 

    Okay, I need to get dressed, do my hair and makeup and get to work, maybe I will take a nap.

Have a great and productive day!


Friday, March 7, 2014


     I sewed almost all day yesterday to try and catch up and I didn't, surprise, surprise, but I am closer to the bottom of the heap.  My house is a seedy mess and I really must get a handle on the dust bunnies and floors.  I stayed up late talking to my sister on the phone and while I was talking I cleaned the shop.  At least I have an idea of where I am in the mess.

     I need to do a deposit today and set up a budget for the month of March.  Hubs asked me what I wanted for my birthday this month and I asked for new hand clippers for the yard and garden gloves.  My hand pruners are so old and  and I go through garden gloves like crazy.  Hubs was able to get out yesterday and do a little pruning.  He got all the fruit trees done!  He has to spray this weekend.

     I want to bake bread today and really clean the upstairs, after I get a few more projects done in the shop.  Also laundry is piling up again. It just never ends. Hub's plays in the pit again tonight and tomorrow and then next week we have the Celtic Show.  So trying to tie up all lose ends before Hell week starts.

     My left elbow is giving me some serious pain and I am not really sure what to do about it.  Last night before bed it was so bad.  I also woke up about 5:30 with it throbbing away, I really hate that. It does seem to be better this morning.

     Out My Window:  Overcast and rainy, but I hope it clears up this weekend so Hubs and I can go for a bike ride.

     Anyone have any big plans for the weekend?

Have a great and productive day.


Thursday, March 6, 2014

Thursday, updated totals for last month!

     I just updated my totals and I am pleased, they are going down which makes me want to go up!  I so wish I had a magic wand to erase it all but my skills are lacking.

     Rehearsal last night was covered with ashy foreheads as over 1/2 the company is Irish Catholic. They are so cute and I love the sincerity in which they live their religion. Discussing what they were giving up for lent.  How hard it was going to be, how tough they were.  Cute, cute, just cute.

     I have a ton of work to do today and it will be busy until I get home after teaching.  (Interruption, local priest, new robes too long, psalter too long, needed for Lenten services, so that is my first job today)  See how I get interrupted trying to blog?

     I had my interview by phone with SSI  yesterday.  So now it goes to Boise to be reviewed.  The woman who did the interview was very nice.  It is just a process, like the disease.

     My house needs a good a thorough cleaning, it is approaching the disgusting level, but I will ignore it until I am caught up in the shop. Maybe D#2 will take pity on me and do the floors upstairs and the bathrooms.

     Well I need to get busy, Has your spring sprung yet?  Mine hasn't

Have a great and productive day!


Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Wednesday, buried alive!

     If I don't get into the shop and get something done today I am going to be buried alive.  I had so much stuff come in yesterday.  I also need to do payroll and pay the rest of February's bills and set up a new budget for March.  I am so glad it is March.  One of my favorite months of the year.  It is still cruddy and wet outside but I can handle it for a while more.  I guess I can really handle it until it goes away as I don't really have any choice.

     Procrastination has set into my life usual.  When things get gritty I am likely to hunker down and ignore the obvious.  So I am trying to be a little more proactive.  I can be when forced:)

     Took truck to the body shop yesterday and it will be fixed the second week in April.  They were able to get the driver door open and it works fine.  This is great as I will get a free rental car if I wait and that will help, so I can get around town.

     Sent a letter home to parents to get tuition out for this month and next, I hope that helps.  I am very, very broke and have many accounts to pay back.  I feel like I really went backwards in February, but will sail back in March.

     Lost my keys at the studio yesterday and think someone picked them up and put them in their dance bag or they are in the costume closet.  Both are disaster scenarios. Crap, one more thing to deal with right now.  Love my life sometimes.

     I really need to get busy, left elbow is killing me!

Have a great and productive day!


Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Tuesday, where do I begin?

     I drove to D#2's house last Thursday evening and the trip was long and snowy.  I had to go very slow, it rained and snowed the whole time.  I made it to her townhouse in 3.5 hours normally the trip takes 2.  Helped her unpack several boxes and start to get her room organized and then we fell into bed.

     We slept in the next morning as my appointment was not until 1:30.  We worked some more on her unpacking and then got ready to go into Spokane.  I tried to make sure I was drinking plenty of liquids as I knew they were going to do blood work and I didn't want them mining my arms.  As we were turning to get up to the hospital D#2 turned left in a double lane and we were involved in a car accident as the other driver of the large pickup wanted our turn lane.  So here I am again in Spokane on my way to the specialist and also in an accident.  This is the whole reason I can't drive in the big city is that I get into accidents (well one).  So we wait and wait and finally the officer let's us go to the hospital and tells us he will meet us there. Which was nice.  I was very upset and in shock not hurt but in the kind of shock you are in when you can't believe something has happened again.  I felt very bad for D#2 as she took the direct impact on her door and could have been really hurt.  She is fine.

     Get to the doctor's office 1/2 hour late, they squeezed me in yet again.  They also would not let me walk from office to office due to shock. My blood pressure was high for me and my veins collapsed in my arms due to shock. So I now look like a pin cushion,  A purple pin cushion.  It is funny how your bodies defense goes to work to preserve you when it thinks you are in trouble. I am tough I felt more sorry for the phlebotomy tech who kept poking and blowing and bruising.

     I have developed second stage Sjogrens syndrome.  My second auto immune disorder.  My white blood cells are attacking my salivary glands and tear ducts. Eventually this will destroy these glands. There is no cure. It is very painful, I am hoping I can get some relief from the medications. This is why I am exhausted and why I have no spit, and my eyes are constantly inflamed and full of goop. I drink constantly to keep my mouth from becoming dry.  I use eye drops excessively.  The biggest problem is that it is causing an inflammatory response in my blood which is setting off the RA.  So now a change of meds again and a fight with insurance to cover them and will they work?  Also a whole new slew of medicines that are expensive and have side affects of their own. I was tested for another auto immune disorder brought on by all this, which I am loath to believe. 

     I know several ladies in my church who claim and I did say claim to have fibromyalgia.   When there is a job to be done or something unfavorable they are all sick, but when something fun comes along they are all over it.  I get tired of the diagnosis given to lazy users.  Now I know in my heart that this is a real disease and many people suffer from it.  I know it is a serious disease and very painful.  I have just seen too many abusers of the word fibromyalgia.  So any readers out there please understand where I am coming from and that I am  taking your pain or discomfort seriously.  Something has happened to my body and it is inflamed.  Muscles and tendons around joints are tender to touch.  I am tired beyond anything I have ever been before.  Like just had a baby 20 minutes ago tired and they want you to get up and go to the bathroom down the hall and you don't think you can make it.  It is a weird feeling for someone like me who is always running and active.  I DON'T LIKE IT!

     Now we have to drive home after a car accident and this wonderful news.  Sis and I had a few good jokes as to how we could keep Hub's from seeing the truck and how long we could keep it from him.  This is how our family deals with a crisis. Laugh at it live with it.

     I needed to drive D#2 back up to her apartment as we were so late because of the accident we could not drive back and get her car and make rehearsal.  With only two weeks out till show time we decided to have me drive back up.  Not a problem as she wanted me to help put things up in her apartment and I love to stage things.  It makes me happy.  I needed something to make me happy.  Our trip back was the worst snow storm she or I have ever driven in and they closed the highway behind us so it was forward or nothing.  Our windshield would ice up and the wiper blades did no good.  Every one else was in the same boat.  We saw horrible accidents.  But we made it and and I don't ever want to be that scared again.  I drove home yesterday about noon.  It poured rain all the way but the roads were clear.  I mean there was at least 6-8 inches of snow you were pushing the night before and now just slews of water and rain.  Welcome to winter/spring in the Rockies.

     I have still not paid all the bills for February and I need to concentrate on that, I did no house work this weekend and my house needs love.  The shop is busy, there is laundry to do and I get to just go on as if nothing is different, because is anything really different?  Well I know what is wrong, does that change anything?  I am still working this out in my head and will report my feeling later, I just don't want to think right now.

     Out My Window:  Rainy but I think I might have seen just a glimmer of sun peeking out early this morning for a split second.

Have a great and productive day and I am going to try to also.  ( boy do I dangle a lot of participles)