Monday, catch up!

     I have two goals today, Laundry and sewing that is it!  I am so behind in both areas.  Daughter is coming home today to help clean up a little, but I am going to sew and do laundry . The phone rang 7 times before 9 this morning so it will be a busy day.

     We are going to go to Nampa for Thanksgiving.  Hubs understands why I am upset and if I really put my foot down he would stay here.  However they are his parents and they are in their later 80's so who am I to say he should not spend the Holiday with them?  We will go and I will be happy.  Thanks for all the sympathy, from my pals but I am going to go and then you will have to listen to me complain later.  Hee, Hee!  I am such a good blogging buddy.

     We had the Lighting of the Christmas Park Saturday and it went off splendidly. Such a lot of work. It is like a mini recital.  Costuming everyone and rehearsing so it goes over flawlessly.  It was cold and the kids were shivering but they smiled and did a great job. So proud of them. Glad it is over.  Now in my mind the holiday's really start.

     I need to make a deposit and pay bills sometime before we go.  Like when is that going to happen?  In my dreams probably.

cont:

     Sis and I walked home from school everyday.  It was about 10 city blocks but a strait shot from the school.  Sis was so much fun.  We could not step on a crack or we would break each others back. I had an Asian boy in my first grade class room.  Sis was in love.  We would always switch to the opposite side of the road when we saw him walking home, sometimes sis would swoon and pass out she was so taken over by rapture.  I would try to haul her limp body up but is was just too much for me.  I should have known then that she would enter the theater.  This little boys name was Jack.  I wonder what he thought of two little twin girls following him and one of them falling down all the time? 

     I had a dog named Sparky.  Dad brought a puppy home in his coat pocket.  I had been diagnosed with an ulcer and was on a very limited diet.  I saw Dad's stomach moving under his coat and I asked him what it was and he said it was his Ulcer.  Then he pulled out this little tiny black and white puppy.  I wanted to name her Carol after our parents best friends and my God mother, but mom and dad explained that this would not be an honor for her.  I could think of no better name than Carol.  I loved Carol and thought she was the neatest person in the world.  But Sparky it was.  She was my own special dog.  A little black and white terrier no bigger than a teacup. She was a very good dog.  She would tolerate sis, but I remember feeling like she was just mine.   Mom decided to go blond because blondes have more fun and Sparky would not let her in the house.  Mom finally went back to brunette to keep Sparky from having a heart attack.

     Grandma came to visit that fall. She helped us make cookies and taught us to knit.  We learned to knit doll out fits for our Barbies, it was much more fun than the mittens we would knit later on. I had been sick for what seemed like months.  I just remember laying on the sofa.  The apartment complex across the street caught on fire and it was a 5 alarm fire.  There were lights flashing and noise.  The fire hydrant was in our front yard so everything was very close to the house.  I had the hard German measles and my eyes were affected.  I remember screaming in pain as the bright lights of the fire trucks shown even through the heavy drapes.  Dad put his old army blanket over the window to keep out the light.  It was the first time I remember hallucinating from a fever. Such awful dreams, and the noises from the fire were so scary.  Dad held me all night long. I was soaking wet and so was he.  Even though they changed my clothes and his I would sweat through them again. 
 
     Doctors came to the house back then and I remember a stranger coming, he said let her sweat the fever will turn.  So I turned and turned all night long.  In my mind I was falling and turning and Dad would catch me and we would laugh.  Then it would happen again, but this time I fell for a long time and I was not sure Dad was there to catch me, but I would alight in his arms soft as a pillow.  Such safety and relief and then it would happen again.  It was a frightening and very long night.  Family's were displaced by the fire  but the funny thing was is they all still lived in different parts of the same two block radius.  It was like if your house or apartment burned in that neighborhood, you would find another house or apartment across the street.  It was a vortex of poverty one could not escape.  The nice thing about being a child is that you don't realize that things are bad.

    Mom always tried to make Christmas special.  We would have a beautiful Christmas eve meal.  China, silver, crystal.  So special.  We always had oyster stew, with the little crackers.  Sis called them doll crackers.  Dad's folks would come.  We were allowed to open one present and our Christmas p.j.s on Christmas eve.  That year Sis and I had asked for a beautiful baby brother doll.  It was the first boy doll to come out and heavily advertized.   I remember Christmas morning getting up and I was so excited.  There sitting by the fake cardboard fire place were two dolls.  Beautiful Baby Brother, with his little blue cap, and blue and white striped sleeper.  My doll had a note attached and I read it before I picked him up.  It said that Santa was running late and when he got to our chimney he was in a hurry and he had dropped my baby brother doll so his eyes were damaged, but he would be back to fix him just as soon as he could.  Sure enough my doll had the eyes poked out.  It was creepy, but after Christmas his eyes were fixed and I was happy.  I loved him anyway.  Dad said I held you when your eyes were not working during the measles and now you are fine.  You need to hold your baby so he will get better.  I did.  Sis's baby was perfect, I held him a few times, but I did not want my baby to be unhappy so I would sigh and go back to my eyeless infant.

     Grandma came again in the spring around our Birthday.  We would be turning 6.  Disney was advertising wrist watches for kids.  We wanted watches and we went down to the drug store to get a new watch with grandma.  We both  wanted the Cinderella watch with the blue band, but they only had one.  So I decided to get the Snow White watch with the red band.  Sis got the Cinderella watch.  This pattern of talking me into something different so Sis could have what she wanted was a very common occurrence.  But it never bothered me.  Either I was very complacent or stupid I am not sure which.  When you are twin, you are the same person, in my reality what she had, I had so it didn't make much difference.


     Over Memorial day weekend the end of our first grade year, mom woke sis and I up early and told us to put on the clothes at the end of our beds.  They were new black sweat shirts and sweat pants.  She fed us breakfast and hurried us into the car, Lil sis and baby bro were also in the car and were dressed just like us.  Mom had on the same color we were going on a trip.  Funny thing was we never talked about it.  Mom had planned and packed and we were on our way to Montana.  Sis who was a little brighter than me, asked Mom if we were leaving Dad and she said yes.  Sis was inconsolable.  I was upset, but also confused.  We were only 6 and I just looked forward to the adventure.

     Our grandmother was building houses in a very nice neighborhood. I remember pulling into her driveway.  All of Mom's brother's and sisters were there to greet us.  It was like a big family reunion.  I loved my grandma and had met all these people before.  But I was still very confused, I was also shy.  Sis was not shy and she soon had made friends with cousins our age.   We had a cousin that was 2 years older than us her name was Cindy and we thought her very knowledgeable and glamorous.  She was 8 after all and was a woman of the world.  Mom had 3 brothers and one sister.  Two brothers were close to her age, the other sister and brother were much younger.  In fact we were there for her youngest brother's high school graduation.

     Sis and I and our bro and lil sis had such a good time with our cousins.  Grandma was kind and she had a huge house and was building others.  But Sis and I ran into trouble right away with the Uncles.  My mothers two brothers were mean drunks.  They were mean in general.  Their kids all were cowed and disciplined.  We were not.  Our father was kind and nonexistent most of the time.  If he came home drunk(which he usually did) he was fun and friendly. Our Uncles were not fun and friendly.  Children were made to be seen and not heard.  Well, Sis and I were made to be heard.  This was a very painful experience for us and for my mother.  She knew she had to get us children away from the situation in the Dakotas, as Dad's family was not charming and very dysfunctional.  This threw us into a fiery pit of unwanted discipline and cruelty.

     If a parent refuses to discipline a child, society will do it for them in a much more cruel fashion.  We were about ready to enter society.

     Cont:

     Laundry is on it's way and I am going into the shop now to sew.  I may not emerge for a few days.  Just had a call from Hubb'y mom.  Let me see we have at least 35 people coming and sister-in-law has one small turkey and mom is bringing a ham ( I am sure a boneless structured ham with no flavor).  I said that is not enough food for 33 people.  Already I can see the hand writing on the wall.  She also is only making apple pies, mom does not do cream pies.  In other words, get here and get to work.  I love my life.

Out My Window:  Freezing, we are having to take fresh water to the chicken twice a day.

Have a great and productive day!

Kim